Alt Text: The Perils of Elf Overdose

Cataclysm, the latest expansion for World of Warcraft, will hit shelves next week. Millions of copies will be picked up by eager hands and left clumsily hidden under welcome mats by delivery drivers.

The face of Azeroth will be changed forever, the very foundations of the game will be reforged, and I will be playing Red Dead Redemption.

bug_altextI’ve played my share of Warcraft. I’ve done my time in the Deadmines, re-specced to take on Prince Malchezaar, and watched Dalaran slow to a crawl thanks to my somewhat-antiquated video card.

I’ve spent hours in an achievement haze, doing busywork for ephemeral awards. I’ve reported more gold-farmer spam than I care to recall. But I’m not joining in on the latest content blast. Why? Because of all the many ways that Warcraft has scarred my mind and soul, the most profound is this: I now hate elves.

You’ve got to understand here — elves have been a part of my life as long as I can remember. Tolkien elves and Gygaxian elves and Pini elves and Santa’s elves: If it had pointy ears and lived someplace far from any drive-through espresso stand, it was part of my cultural landscape.

And then came Warcraft. I mostly played Horde, so at first elves were my rivals and occasional enemies. But then they bought in a different set of elves as Horde characters, because for some reason elves are like potato chips — they’re always inventing new flavors. Now you can’t throw a Deadly Saronite Dirk without hitting an elf, usually on purpose.

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Trailer: Superpowered Teen Fears for His Life in I Am Number Four

What planet did they come from? Why are they being killed? The new I Am Number Four trailer zeroes in on one of nine “escapees” from who knows where who is trying to pass as normal.

Three of the refugees have already been knocked off, which makes teen hero John (played by Alex Pettyfer) nervous, believing he’s next — Number Four — on the hit list. It’s slightly familiar territory for director J.D. Caruso, who delivered a teen-in-jeopardy thriller two years ago when he steered Shia LeBouf through Eagle Eye.

The new clip, embedded above, offers a glimpse of John’s special powers, with quick detours devoted to his love interest (Dianna Agron) and a silhouetted figure who may or may not be co-star Timothy Olyphant of Deadwood fame.

I Am Number Four opens Feb. 18, 2011.

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Anti-Superhero Comic Death-Ray to Hit Hardcover, Then Movie Screens

Out-of-print anti-superhero fable The Death-Ray is being re-released as a hardcover graphic novel next fall by Drawn & Quarterly. The award-winning story, by geek comics heavyweight Daniel Clowes, is also being made into a movie by Jack Black’s Electric Dynamite Productions, with music video and commercial director Chris Milk attached to the project.

Clowes’ deconstruction of superhero clichés in the comic is both hilarious and painful in heavy measure.

“I always read superhero comics as a kid and I thought that, up to a point, they seemed realistic until they get their powers,” the Oakland, California-based writer said in 2004 after Fantagraphics released The Death-Ray as Issue No. 23 of Clowes’ brilliant alt-comics series Eightball.

After their superheroic transformations, the characters usually veer off into selfless heroics and impossible moralism. But that’s the opposite of what happens to The Death-Ray’s teen outcast Andy, who discovers his superpowers after sucking on a cigarette from his obnoxious pal Louie. Once Andy gets his hands on a weapon that can eradicate anything in sight with an audible pop, things quickly fall apart into an existential muddle with little to no redemption in sight.

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Mondo’s First ‘Director’s Series’ Posters Pay Tribute to Guillermo Del Toro

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Fans of Guillermo Del Toro, Blade II or high-quality movie posters in general, you have something new to salivate over.

Austin, Texas-based Mondo, the art collectible chop shop of Alamo Drafthouse, has dreamed up a visual pleasure-fest with its new Director’s Series of posters focusing on particular A-list moviemakers. The first artist/director collaboration features Del Toro’s 2002 hit, which starred Wesley Snipes as the badass slayer who combats Reaper Vampires.

“Del Toro is a big deal for us,” said Justin Ishmael, Mondo’s creative director, in a phone interview with Wired.com. “Pan’s Labyrinth was gigantic for us. We love Hellboy. He is interesting on-screen and off. I just like him in every aspect.”

Turns out the acclaimed horror movie director is also a longtime fan of Mondo, and of Alamo Drafthouse’s commitment to furthering the proliferation of stuff geeks love, said Ishmael. The indie Austin theater chain has gained serious cred with its cult classic movie screenings and encyclopedic knowledge of all things comic books, sci-fi and horror.

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Space Nazi Flick Iron Sky Goose-Steps Into Production

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Iron Sky: Fourth Reich Group Portrait

After several years of preproduction, the Finnish filmmakers behind Nazis-from-outer-space flick Iron Sky are finally turning their fan-financed sci-fi fantasy into a reality.

It remains to be seen if the final product will live up to the wow-inducing Iron Sky trailers, which pulled in 8 million views before principal photography even began. But director Timo Vuorensola and his team have begun shooting their movie based on an outlandish story: Toward the end of World War II, Nazis fled to the moon in flying saucers. In 2018, they return to Earth seeking revenge.

In keeping with their DIY roots, the filmmakers launched a campaign to get their picture into theaters through the online Demand to See Iron Sky campaign. Producers also invite potential fans to pay what they want, starting at 1 euro (about $1.50) to grab a sneak peek of the film's first five minutes.

For an advance look at the movie's key elements, check out the concept art and new production shots in the gallery above.

Above:

Fourth Reich Group Portrait

In this Wired.com exclusive, Iron Sky cast members (left to right) Götz Otto, Peta Sergeant, Julia Dietze, Michael Cullen and Stephanie Paul gather at the Schloss Birstein castle outside Frankfurt, Germany.

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Photos: Mika Orasmaa and Tarja Jakunaho. Images courtesy Blind Spot Pictures. Concept art by Jussi Lehtiniemi. Follow us on Twitter: @hughhart and @theunderwire.

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Nolan Says No to Heath Ledger in Dark Knight Rises

Heath Ledger as the Joker in The Dark Knight.
Image courtesy Warner Bros.

The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan and his wife/producing partner Emma Thomas deny that Heath Ledger will make a posthumous appearance in The Dark Knight Rises.

“I heard the rumor,” Thomas told The Hollywood Reporter. “We’re not doing that.”

The rumor apparently got started on an Australian website, which quoted an anonymous source to explain the how Ledger might be resurrected on-screen: “The idea is to use these fragments of cut scenes and use CGI to have the Joker appear one last time. Chris [Nolan] wants some continuity between movies and for the franchise to pay tribute to Heath and his portrayal of the Joker.”

Nolan, who noted that the script to his third and final Batman movie isn’t finished, said he thought Ledger’s Oscar-winning performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight should stand on its own.

[via Latino Review]

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Indie Comics Gamble on New Digital Strategies

This Guardianship Saga pinup by Tyler Kirkman is one example of the extra content available to Comics Pipeline subscribers.

By Michael Moreci, Guest Blogger

In September of this year, Kris Simon left her job at Image Comics, where she had been an editor for six years. The move was bold, but to Simon it made perfect sense. She was ready for her career to evolve, ready to take the next step in her industry — a step that many mainstream publishers have been apprehensive to take.

Simon found herself asking “what’s next?” and discovered the answer in Comics Pipeline, a website that combines publishing and social media.

“Comics Pipeline answers the long-time question, ‘What is the next step in the evolution of comics in today’s digital age?’” Simon told Wired.com. “If you had to reinvent the comic book industry today, how should it be done? Readers nowadays want more than panels on a page…. They want exclusive insights into the creative process, the ability to pull up content on the run.”

What Comics Pipeline does is create a sort of Netflix-meets-Facebook method for distributing content. Users register on the site and pay a monthly fee of $5 to gain access to work from the creators of their choice. Like social networking sites, Comics Pipeline — which launches Wednesday — offers users a more direct connection to creators, as well as on-demand content.

Creators can post pages, concepts and sketches, and constantly update their fans with never-before-seen stories as well as insight into their working process. A two-week “open house” lets registrants try Comics Pipeline for the first two weeks of December for free, and then decide if they want to subscribe.

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Win Doctor Who, Other Great Gifts With a British Accent

Enter to win these DVD box sets of BBC shows.

Wired.com and BBC America are teaming up to give you a shot at winning an ultimate BBC Holiday Gift Pack, with DVD sets of some of our favorite shows: Doctor Who, Life, Sherlock, Top Gear, Being Human and Robbie the Reindeer.

The shows are all available at BBC America Shop, which is stocked with BBC films, TV series and unique British collectibles.

(To make shopping even more exciting, the BBC America Shop is holding its annual Holiday Sweepstakes, which gives shoppers a shot at winning two $500 gift cards — one for the winner and one for a friend — redeemable toward purchases in the web store.)

To enter Wired.com’s giveaway of the BBC Holiday Gift Pack, just leave a comment below revealing your favorite BBC America show and why you like it. One winner will be chosen at random to win the six DVD box sets. Deadline for entry is 12:01 a.m. Pacific on Dec. 7, 2010.

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Le Truc ‘Bustaurant’ Seats 12, Sells Out Fast

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SAN FRANCISCO — For his new “bustaurant” called Le Truc, chef Hugh Schick has transformed a yellow vehicle designed for hauling schoolchildren into a gleaming, black mobile eatery tricked out with copper grills.

Instead of food truck standards like tacos and sausages, Le Truc is serving up locally sourced, seasonal menus out of the 66-passenger vehicle, which underwent a $125,000 renovation. The unconventional eatery might be housed in a 1983 Ford school bus, but with a gourmet kitchen, skylights and indoor seating for up to 12, Schick says he designed his rolling restaurant to be a destination dining spot that just happens to move.

Thanks to the semipermanent location — you can find the truck parked at the corner of Fourth and Brannan streets in the city’s South of Market district — Schick and his business partner, Blake Tally, won’t have to rely on Twitter to notify would-be customers of their location the way other food trucks do.

Instead, followers will be first to find out when Schick is pulling fresh cookies out of the oven or when sliders are discounted. By using Twitter in this way, the restaurateurs hope to appeal to the demographic in their SOMA location. “We want to attract the recent college graduates to 35-years-olds that love street food,” said Schick, a former private chef and restaurant consultant.

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Spider-Man, Fantastic Four Speak Espanol in iPad App Specials

Three new Marvel Comics releases tell tales of Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four in both English and Spanish. And of course there will be chupacabras.

Fantastic Four: Isla De La Muerte! (artwork above and below), Fantastic Four in … Ataque Del M.O.D.O.K.! and Spider-Man & The Human Torch in … Bahia De Los Muertos! are now available on the Marvel Comics app. The release marks the “first Spanish-language comics offered by any major comics publisher,” according to a Marvel press release. Writer Tom Beland and artist Juan Doe worked on the special editions.

“We’re committed to exposing the widest possible audience to the unparalleled characters and storytelling of the Marvel Universe,” said David Gabriel, Marvel’s senior vice president of sales and circulation.

The artwork looks magnifico!

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