I came to say Happy #Festivus to my friend Elizabeth Warren. Cant find her.pic.twitter.com/A4xSJ7Nf7x
![](https://webharvest.gov/congress115th/20181227174320im_/https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DvIAUaiXQAA9LoF.jpg)
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So moving down the road to Congress. Oh, Congress. Every year it seems things get more absurd. They were so bad this week they made my friend Mike Lee say “doggone”. It was nuts.
Congress has now decided to shut down the government because they aren’t spending enough money. I got suspicious when Ted Cruz came back from Thanksgiving break with that beard.pic.twitter.com/y0r3dpFbbG
Ted really should have grown that beard before he ran for President. He looks less Canadian now.
My friend Lindsay Graham is a bit mad right now. You see, he’s never seen a war end before. He’s going to have to console himself with the fact that we still are in about 8 more. I know it will be hard for him, but I think he’ll get by.
I have to tell you; I haven’t seen a Senator who loves war this much since the Star Wars Prequels.pic.twitter.com/UFU242XYQK
Lindsay and I were on the same side on foreign policy for about 5 minutes a few weeks ago, regarding the Saudis. He said it was a sign of “end times”. I guess we are all gonna live a bit longer after all.
Grievance against the foreign policy establishment of both parties in DC:
Many of these people hold these two views: 1 - that it was horrible to leave the war in Syria and 2 - that it is horrible that General Mattis left, since he was what kept the President from starting WWIII or something. I don’t understand how you hold both of those views.
I’m going to go a bit easier on the grievances against the neocons and warmongers this year though. The Weekly Standard has folded, wars are ending — I really think their holiday is already bad enough, I don’t want to pile on.
Well, actually…let’s talk about John Bolton. I don’t have a grievance. I just really would have liked to have been in the room when the POTUS told him to END a war. How many times do you think he made the President repeat it because he didn’t even know what the words meant?
I opposed John Bolton being hired. But I really can’t think of anything that makes me happier then thinking of him having to end wars for the rest of his time in the White House.
I hear they’re piping this into his office now for the entire Christmas season. .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN4Uu0OlmTg …
I’m going to close today by talking about something good that has happened. In fact, some could even say it has its beginnings right here on #Festivus twitter a few years ago. I poked a little fun at my friend Corey Booker.
But then we exchanged some thoughts about bipartisan reforms we could work on, like hemp legalization and criminal justice reforms. Well, it’s a Festivus miracle because Congress passed and the President signed BOTH of those things this week.
All kidding aside, they were important, bipartisan reforms that show how Washington CAN work if people from both sides of the aisle get together on things that make sense. I’m proud to have been a part of both.
So everyone enjoy your feats of strength today. Air your grievances here or in your home. But remember, thanks to Donald Trump we are ALL saying Merry Christmas this year — so repeat after me: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone even the haters and losers.
This is frickin hilarious! Who knew Rand Paul did standup comedy, GOP style?
Parody account or real?
We dont want government opened until the crime at border is closed! who's responsible for these arrogant illegals doing this please stand up, we want to see you
Apparently you missed the evidence showing that walls DO work. And border security is national security and as such is wholly constitutional.https://www.google.com/amp/insider.foxnews.com/amp/article/64429 …
Israel has one
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