If you've just found out that your child has a birth defect, you're probably experiencing many emotions. Parents in your situation often say that they feel overwhelmed and uncertain they will be able to care for their child properly. Fortunately, you aren't alone - with a little effort, you'll find that there are lots of people and resources to help you.

As the parent of a child with a birth defect, it's important for you to:

Acknowledge your emotions. Parents of children with birth defects experience shock, denial, grief, and even anger. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and to give yourself permission to mourn the loss of the healthy child you thought you'd have. Talk about your feelings with your spouse or partner and with other family members. You might also consider seeing a counselor.

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your child is to seek support. Getting in touch with someone who's been through the same thing can be helpful; ask your doctor or a social worker at your hospital if they know any other parents in the area who have children with the same condition. Joining a support group may also help - consult your child's doctors or specialists for advice about finding a local or national support group.

Celebrate your child. Remember to let yourself enjoy your child the same way any parent would - by cuddling or playing with her, watching for developmental milestones (even if these are different than they would be if your child didn't have a birth defect), and sharing your joy with family members and friends. Many parents of children with birth defects wonder if they should send out birth announcements. Although this is a personal decision, you shouldn't feel as though the fact that your child has a health problem means you shouldn't be excited about the new addition to your family.

Seek information. The amount each person would like to learn varies from parent to parent, but try to educate yourself as much and as soon as you are able. Start by asking your child's doctors lots of questions. Record the answers as best as you can. If you're not satisfied with the answers - or if a doctor seems unable to take the time to answer you thoroughly - don't be afraid to seek second opinions.

Additional places to get information include:

• books written for parents of children with birth defects
• national organizations such as the March of Dimes, the National Information Center for Children and Youth With Disabilities or those representing your child's specific birth defect
• support groups or other parents

Keep a binder with a running list of questions and the answers you find, as well as suggestions for further reading and any materials your child's doctor gives you. In addition, keep an updated list of all health care providers and their phone numbers, as well as emergency numbers, so you're able to access your child's providers quickly and efficiently.

Part of this process should involve exploring options for paying for treatment and ongoing care for your child. In addition to health insurance, there are many resources available to parents of children with birth defects, including nonprofit disability organizations, private foundations, Medicaid, and state and local programs.

Seek early intervention. When your child has a birth defect, early intervention is usually the best strategy. Designed to bring a team of experts together to assess your child's needs and establish a program of treatment, early intervention services include feeding support, identification of assistive technology that may help your child, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and social work services. In addition to identifying, evaluating, and treating your child's needs, early intervention programs will:

• tell you where you can get information about your child's disability
• teach you to care for your child at home
• help you determine your payment options and tell you where you can find services for free
• help you make important decisions about your child's care
• provide counseling to you and your family

Your child's doctor or a social worker at the hospital where you gave birth should be able to connect you with the early intervention program in your area.

Use a team approach. Most children with birth defects require a team of professionals to treat them. Even if your child needs to see only one specialist, that person will need to coordinate care with your child's doctor. Although some hospitals already have teams in place to deal with problems such as heart defects, cleft lip and palate, or cerebral palsy, you may find yourself having to serve as both the main point of contact between the different care providers and the coordinator of your child's appointments. As soon as you are able, get to know the different team members. Make sure they know who else will be caring for your child and that you intend to play a key role. 

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