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Reuniting With Family After Deployment
Story Number: NNS030710-14
Release Date: 7/11/2003 10:20:00 AM
By Journalist 2nd Class Rebecca Horton, Navy Region Southwest Public Affairs
SAN DIEGO (NNS) -- Thousands of San Diego-based Sailors returning this week from deployment are not only returning to the United States, but they are returning to lives that have been put on hold for seven months.
For married Sailors, and those with children, this transition back to a ‘pre-deployment lifestyle’ can be a very stressful time for the entire family, if not handled correctly. The Fleet and Family Support Center (FFSC) is providing extra support for these Sailors and their families.
“When a ship is returning from deployment, a deployment team will meet up with the ship at their last port of call before Hawaii, and spend several days leading workshops and classes to prepare the Sailors for known stressors upon their return,” said Jim DeVinney, the command support programs supervisor for the Naval Station San Diego Fleet and Family Support Center.
The program, Return and Reunion, holds workshops aboard ship covering several topics, including re-establishing intimacy, stress management, anger management, new parenthood, returning to children, single Sailor support, car buying and money management.
“The main stressors in any relationship seem to be communication, money and children,” said DeVinney. “When families are separated for lengthy periods of time, the stress of the situation continues to build, and sometimes, there isn’t a resolution until after the family is reunited.”
Many families will continue to have pressures during the homecoming period. Spouses may feel they are being second-guessed for decisions made while the Sailor was deployed. There can be a lot of conflict over new relationships, such as a new baby. Sailors might feel they are being left out, because the spouse has taken over decision-making. The fact that the family dynamics have changed, and may never return to the idealized version of how they were before deployment, can cause a great deal of stress to both Sailor and spouse.
Through Return and Reunion, FFSC staff members are able to bring these stressors to the table, and help Sailors be aware of what problems they might run into after returning to their pre-deployment life.
“USS Lake Champlain (CG 57) completed a seven-month deployment during Operation Enduring Freedom one year ago, and one of the best things we did for our crew and their families was to schedule Theresa Misenko, a deployment specialist with Fleet and Family Services, for the Return and Reunion workshop,” said Capt. Bob Wells, Lake Champlain commanding officer.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), those returning from deployment are often hit right away with a laundry list of problems, including bills, family disputes and expectations that family interactions and intimacy will spring back to pre-deployment levels.
The APA says that stress and anxiety can be the result of culture shock, with a quick transition from the ship to the front porch and no time to decompress en route.
It may take some servicemembers and family members time to readjust, and the failure to effectively manage during this period can create a great deal of stress, anxiety, frustration and anger. That is why the FFSC has taken steps to prepare Sailors and their families for how to readjust after deployment.
In the Homecoming workshop, DeVinney and his team from FFSC hold a question-led discussion with the spouses, using a PowerPoint presentation to give spouses some tips on how to handle situations that might arise and help them to understand what has been discussed with the Sailors.
“We try to get everyone on the same page, so the communication has already begun and will hopefully continue with great success,” said DeVinney.
“The spouse needs to realize that the Sailor probably has certain things he or she wants and doesn’t want after they are reunited. Communication is the key, because if they don’t tell their spouse, they can’t expect them to know and understand their needs.”
For some Sailors, coming home to a house where they are no longer the head of the household can cause a feeling of regret and could distance them from the family.
“It is sometimes hard for children to learn to re-include the deployed parent into daily life,” said DeVinney.
DeVinney’s advice for Sailors is to observe how the spouse is handling situations, and learn to slowly incorporate their system into your routine. It will be an easier transition for the children and the parents.
“Usually, by the time deployment is over, the spouse at home has figured out a workable system,” said DeVinney. “It may not be necessary to revert back to the old ways, so if the Sailor watches and observes, they won’t put a kink in the working system.”
If families are finding it difficult to readjust to their pre-deployment lifestyle, the FFSC can offer continued support.
“Any military I.D. cardholder can come to the Fleet and Family Service Center to speak to a counselor,” said William Fenton, clinical supervisor and marriage, and family therapist for Naval Base San Diego’s FFSC.
Anyone interested in making an appointment at the FFSC, or wanting more information about programs they offer can call (619) 556-7404.
Those interested in looking up more information from the American Psychological Association can visit their Web site at www.helping.apa.org.
For related news, visit the Navy Region Southwest Navy NewsStand page at www.news.navy.mil/local/cnrsw.
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