For Immediate Release
Office of the Press Secretary
March 29, 2001
Remarks by the President at the Radio-Television Correspondents Association 57th Annual Dinner
Washington Hilton Hotel Washington, D.C.
9:40 P.M. EST
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all very
much. Well, Lew, thank you very much. Laura and I
are thrilled to be here. I appreciate the members of the
press. I think you serve a very useful purpose, especially
tonight.
As you know, we're studying safe levels for
arsenic in drinking water. (Laughter.) To base our decision
on sound science, the scientists told us we needed to test the water
glasses of about 3,000 people. (Laughter.) Thank you for
participating. (Laughter.)
It's good to see so many members of the
Congress here. My fellow Texan, Tom DeLay, here at the head
table. (Applause.) Lew asked me a little earlier
if Tom ever smiled. I said, I don't know, I've only known
him nine years. (Laughter.)
Senator Lieberman is
here. (Applause.) We all know Joe is an Orthodox
Jew, so he does no work from sundown Friday until sundown
Saturday. This has so impressed me I, myself, am thinking of
converting. (Laughter.) So I don't have nothing to do from
sundown Saturday to sundown Friday. (Laughter.)
Most of you probably didn't know that I have a
new book out. Some guy put together a collection of my wit
and wisdom -- or, as he calls it, my accidental wit and
wisdom. (Laughter.) But I'm kind of proud that my
words are already in book form. So like other authors, I
thought I'd read from it
tonight. (Laughter.) It's like the thoughts of
Chairman Mao, only with laughs, and not in
Chinese. (Laughter.)
Here's one from the book -- and I actually
said this. (Laughter.) "I know the human being
and fish can coexist
peacefully." (Laughter.) Now, that makes you stop
and think. (Laughter and applause.) Anyone can
give you a coherent sentence, but something like this takes you into an
entirely new dimension. (Laughter.)
Here's another: "I understand small
business growth; I was one." (Laughter.) You know, I love
great literature. (Laughter.)
I actually said this in New
Hampshire: "I appreciate preservation. It's what you do
when you run for President, you've got to preserve."
(Laughter.) I don't have the slightest idea what I was
saying there. (Laughter and applause.)
Or how about this one: "More and
more of our imports come from overseas." (Laughter.)
Now, most people would say, in speaking of the
economy, we ought to make the pie bigger. I, however, am on
record saying, "We ought to make the pie
higher." (Laughter.) It is a very complicated
economic point I was making
there. (Laughter.) But believe me, what this
country needs is taller pie. (Laughter and applause.)
And how about this for foreign policy
vision: "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world and
we knew exactly who the they were. It was us versus
them. And it was clear who the them
was." (Laughter.) "Today, we're not so sure who
the they are, but we know they're there." (Laughter and
applause.)
John Ashcroft, by the way, attributes the way
I talk to my religious fervor. In fact, the first time we
met, he thought I was talking in tongue. (Laughter.)
Then there is my most famous
statement: "Rarely is the question asked, is our children
learning." (Laughter.) Let us analyze that
sentence for a moment. (Laughter.) If you're a
stickler, you probably think the singular verb "is" should have been
the plural "are." But if you read it closely, you'll see I'm
using the intransitive plural subjunctive
tense. (Laughter.) So the word "is" are
correct. (Laughter and applause.)
Finally, let's see you wordsmiths out there
diagram this sentence I said -- this may sound a little west Texan to
you, "but when I'm talking about myself and when he's talking about
myself, all of us are talking about me." (Laughter.)
Now, ladies and gentlemen, you have to admit,
in my sentences I go where no man has gone
before. (Laughter.)
But in closing, the way I see it is I am a
boon to the English language. I've coined new words, like,
misunderstanding and
"Hispanically." (Laughter.) I've expanded the
definition of words themselves, using "vulcanized" when I met
"polarized," "Grecians" when I meant "Greeks," "inebriating" when I
meant "exhilarating." (Laughter.) And instead of "barriers
and tariffs," I said "terriers and bariffs." (Laughter.)
And you know what? Life goes
on. (Laughter.) My wife and my daughters still
love me. (Laughter.) Our military still protects
our shores. (Laughter.) Americans still get up
and go to work. (Laughter.) People still go out and have
fun, as we're doing tonight.
I don't think it's healthy to take yourself
too seriously. But what I do take seriously is my
responsibility as President to all the American people. It's
the office I hold. And that is what I came tonight to tell
you.
Thank you for inviting me, and thank you for
your horspitality. (Laughter and applause.)
END 9:47
P.M. EST
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