When Brian and Sarah began dating, all her friends were jealous. Brian seemed
like the perfect guy: smart, sensitive, funny, athletic, and good-looking. For
the first couple of months, Sarah thought she had never been happier. She
started to miss her friends and family though, because she was spending more
time with Brian and less time with everyone else. That seemed easier than
dealing with Brian's endless questions. He worried about what she was doing
at every moment of the day.
Sarah's friends became concerned when her behavior started to change. She
lost interest in stuff like swimming and music that she used to really enjoy.
She became secretive and moody. When her friends asked Sarah if she was having
trouble with Brian, she forcefully denied that anything was wrong. What was
going on? Read this article to find out how to tell if you or a friend is being
abused and what you can do about it.
What Is Abuse? Everyone has heard the songs
about how much love can hurt. But someone who loves you should never
abuse you. Relationships shouldn't humiliate the people involved.
Abuse can sometimes be mistaken for intense feelings of caring or concern.
Sometimes abuse can even seem flattering; think of a friend whose boyfriend or
girlfriend is insanely jealous. Maybe you've thought, "She's so lucky! He must
really care about her." The fact is, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior
are not signs of affection at all. Love involves respect and trust; it
doesn't mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the relationship.
Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and kicking
are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships.
Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, and
humiliating others, can be difficult to recognize because it doesn't
leave any visible scars. Threats, intimidation, put-downs, and betrayal are all
harmful forms of emotional abuse that can really hurt - not just during the time
it's happening, but long after, too.
It's never right to be forced into any type of sexual experience that you
don't want. This type of abuse can happen to anyone, anytime.
The first step is to realize that you have the right to be treated with
respect and not be physically or emotionally harmed by another person. But how
can you prevent becoming involved in this type of relationship? How can you help
a friend who is in an abusive relationship?
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