What if you are the friend            of a victim? How to Help a Friend Who is in an Abusive Relationship The most common place that teens turn to for help is their friends. If a friend confides in you that he/ she is being victimized, or if you suspect that he/she is in an abusive relationship, here are some things that you can do to help. If you notice signs of abuse, don’t ignore it. Talk to your friend about it in private. Don’t confront him/her in a public place. Let him/ her know you are there for him/her. Express your concerns. Cite specific examples of when you witnessed abuse. Tell him/her that he/she deserves better and that the abuse is not his/her fault. Make sure to be honest and believe what your friend says. Support. Don’t judge. Listen. Don’t spread gossip. Honor and protect confidences. Tell him/her that you’re there for him/her whenever he/she wants to talk. Don’t try to force your friend to do anything he/she does not want to do. Let them make their own decisions. Help your friend take action – offer to get information for your friend, assist your friend in developing a plan, help your friend find and talk to a supportive adult, find the number for a crisis hotline, etc. Call in reinforcements – Find an adult you can talk to and try to bring your friend along. Don’t carry the burden alone. Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult. Call the police if you witness an assault. Encourage your friend to build a wide support system. Recognize if your friend needs medical attention – he/she may not realize how badly he/she is hurt.