As providers and caretakers, adults tend to view the world of children as happy and carefree. After all, what could kids possibly have to worry about?

Plenty! Even very young children have worries and feel stress to some degree.

Stress is a function of the demands placed on us and our ability (or sometimes our perceived ability) to meet them. Pressures often come from outside sources (such as family, friends, or school), but they can also come from within. The pressure we place on ourselves can be most significant because there is often a discrepancy between what we think we ought to be doing and what we are actually doing in our lives.

Stress can affect anyone - even a child - who feels overwhelmed. A 2-year-old child, for example, may be anxious because the person she needs to help her feel good - her parent - isn't there enough to satisfy her. In preschoolers, separation from parents is the greatest cause of anxiety. 

As children get older, academic and social pressures (especially the quest to fit in) create stress. In addition, well-meaning parents sometimes unwittingly add to the stress in their children's lives. For example, high achieving parents often have great expectations for their children, who may lack their parents' motivation or capabilities. Parents who push their children to excel in sports or who enroll their children in too many activities may also cause unnecessary stress and frustration if their children don't share their goals.  

Your child's stress level may be raised by more than just what's happening in her own life. Does she hear you talking about troubles at work, worrying about a relative's illness, or fighting with your spouse about financial matters? Parents need to be careful how they discuss such issues when their children are near because children will pick up on their parents' anxieties and start to worry themselves.

The events of September 11, 2001, and the changes in our world since then also added to the stress of many children - and not just those who were directly affected by the tragedy. Children who watch replays of the disturbing images on TV or hear talk of plane crashes, war, and bioterrorism may worry about their own safety and that of the people they love. Talk to your child about what she sees and hears, and monitor what she watches on TV so that you can help her understand what's going on and reassure her that she's safe.

Also consider that complicating factors, such as an illness, death of a loved one, or a divorce, may be causing your child's stress. When these factors are added to the everyday pressures kids face, the stress is magnified. Even the most amicable divorce can be a difficult experience for children because their basic security system - their family - is undergoing a tough change. Separated or divorced parents should never put kids in a position of having to choose sides or expose them to negative comments about the other spouse. Parents should always operate in the best interest of their child.

Go to next page

Printer-friendly version Email this article to a friend Send email to us

Jump to another section of this article Childhood Stress Recognizing the Symptoms and Reducing Stress Reviewer name and date on last page