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A Guide for Families Family Questions: The First Thirty Days Emotional Issues: Introduction I feel so relieved - and so guilty for feeling that way. Are my feelings normal?Guilt. Resentment. Confusion. Relief. All of these and more are common and understandable reactions to a family member moving into a nursing facility. Whether the move was long overdue, or the result of a sudden illness or a drastic change in circumstance, such a major life change in the life of a loved one resonates throughout a family, creating concern not only about the care their loved one will receive, but also about the many emotionally-charged issues that the move does not seem to resolve. Questions most frequently asked by relatives of new residents are answered simply and directly. Some questions reflect the emotional turmoil common to the adjustment phrase, Like, “Did I make this decision for selfish reasons?” Others will address more practical matters like laundry and special diets. This information is provided to help guide you, as a family member of a new resident, through what can be like an emotional roller coaster in the first few weeks. Questions have been provided by people who have themselves admitted family members to nursing facilities. Answers have been provided by experienced social workers who assist families daily in dealing with this life change. The importance of your role in the success of your relative's adjustment to nursing facility life cannot be stressed often enough. You are one of the most knowledgeable members of your family member's caregiving team - you cannot give the other team members too much information, or ask too many questions about your relative's care. Finally the nursing facility industry is currently undergoing a period of major transitions. What was once referred to as an “old folks home” is now a state-of the-art health care facility sometimes combining short-term rehabilitation services with long-term skilled nursing care. For the purposes of this document, we refer to the people who use short-term services as “patients,” and long-term services as “residents.” For the families of both patients and residents, the emotional turmoil - and the questions it gives rise to - can be much the same. But for questions specific to short-term residency, refer to Issues Unique To Short-Term Patients.
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