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A Guide for Families Tips on Visiting Friends and Relatives What would you think life would be like if you were living in a nursing home? You might be conscious of being physically removed from your familiar home and community. You might feel lost, unsure of how you will adjust to this new place. You may feel that you've somehow been rejected. During this time of transition, the need for human interaction is especially important. Maintaining ties with friends and family helps to assure the new resident that he or she has not been abandoned and that important relationships will continue just as they did outside the nursing home.
You, as the visitor, may feel anxious at the thought of visiting the
nursing home. Many people worry they will find the nursing home a
depressing place. You may be bothered by those who appear to be confused or disoriented. Keep in mind that these people can be reached by simply holding their hands and looking into their eyes. Even a person in the later stages of Alzheimer's disease will still respond to tenderness and affection. As you make plans to visit someone living in a nursing home, remember that the facility is that person's home, and you should show the same respect you showed when the resident lived outside the facility. Call and ask what time is convenient for you to pay a visit. A resident may feel more energetic or sociable at certain times of the day, or he or she may have other plans. In addition, he or she will have that visit to look forward to, which extends the pleasure. Most facilities have very liberal visiting hours lasting 10 to 12 hours during the day. Be sure to check on these hours before you visit so you don't interrupt meals, bathtimes or other regularly scheduled events. Some nursing homes encourage visitors to join residents at mealtimes. If you decide to do so, you should expect to pay for your meal. One word of caution about visiting: there is a tendency to set unrealistic expectations and be unable to deliver. Do not promise to visit and not come. If you cannot keep an appointment, call in advance and immediately suggest an alternate time. When you and your friend or relative are planning your visiting times together, look over your schedule carefully. Decide how much time you can spend each week or month. Realistic planning avoids disappointment for the resident and feelings of guilt or anger for you.
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