Sudden Traumatic Loss
What is a sudden traumatic loss?
Few things in life are as painful as the sudden, traumatic
death of a loved one, or a friend, coworker, or neighbor.
Causes of such losses include war, combat, disasters, and
terrorism, as well as medical catastrophes, airline crashes,
suicide, and homicide. In some of these situations, multiple
traumatic losses occur. Each of these affects individuals
as well as their communities.
Sudden traumatic deaths can include (1) deaths that occur
without warning, providing no opportunity to anticipate, prepare,
or say goodbye; (2) deaths that are otherwise untimely, including
the death of one's child at any age; (3) deaths that occur
as the result of violence and deaths that result in violent
harm to the body; (4) deaths of more than one person; and
(5) deaths that occur as a result of the willful misconduct
of others, carelessness, or negligence. Many individuals experience
the sudden traumatic loss of a loved one at some point in
their lives. And some communities share these traumatic losses.
In each case, many additional losses accompany this experience.
What symptoms are typical following a sudden, traumatic
loss?
The range of people's reactions can vary a great deal from
person to person and from culture to culture. Survivors often
experience reactions that may include two kinds of symptoms
-- trauma symptoms and grief symptoms -- which sometimes can
overwhelm their capacity to cope.
Trauma symptoms may include feelings of horror and anxiety
on the one hand and emotional numbness and a sense of disconnection
on the other. Some people cannot remember significant parts
of what happened, while others are plagued by memories or
feel as if they are re-experiencing or reliving the event
through painful flashbacks. Traumatic deaths often cause extreme
distress over an extended period of time that can significantly
interfere with daily functioning.
Many people develop symptoms of a psychological condition
called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). There are three
groups of symptoms that indicate PTSD: (1) re-experiencing
of the traumatic event as indicated by painful, intrusive
thoughts or nightmares about the death; (2) avoidance, as
indicated by marked efforts to stay away from activities,
places, or things related to the loved one's death, and emotional
numbing, as indicated by feeling detached from others; and
(3) increased arousal, as indicated by difficulty sleeping,
irritability, difficulty concentrating, and a tendency to
become startled easily.
Aside from the typical symptoms of PTSD, surviving loved
ones sometimes experience self-blame and guilt. People may
imagine ways they could or should have prevented these experiences
from occurring or how they could have rescued the person,
and they may experience guilt surrounding events prior to
the death. Whether someone is present at or far from the site
at which others were killed, survivor guilt can be common.
Symptoms of grief involve an overwhelming sense of loss with
strong feelings of yearning or longing for the loved one.
Survivors may feel a profound sense of emptiness and a sense
that a part of them has died. They often speak of generalized
pain or heaviness in their chest. They may feel depressed
and hopeless about the future. Things that were once important
may not seem to matter so much any more. In addition, they
may cry easily, lose interest in eating, or experience stomach
upset, headaches, and feelings of restlessness.
Traumatic losses often threaten the survivor's sense of personal
safety, security, and ability to trust others. It can take
a significant amount of time to accept the reality of sudden
traumatic loss. Survivors may know intellectually that their
loved one is dead, but find themselves expecting the loved
one to walk through the door or call on the telephone. It
can be particularly hard to part with the loved one's possessions.
It may be especialy difficult when a loved one's body is not
recovered. Sudden traumatic losses often raise existential
and spiritual issues as well, such as difficulty making sense
of these losses or feeling betrayed by God.
How long will the feelings last?
Because survivors of sudden traumatic death must come to terms
with the loss of their loved one, as well as the manner in
which it occurred and the additional or secondary losses,
it can take time for the painful feelings and thoughts to
diminish. Traumatic deaths are particularly likely to result
in intense and prolonged distress if the death was violent
or if the death was brought about deliberately. Following
such deaths, it is also common for survivors to agonize about
what their loved ones experienced during their final moments
of life. Particularly if harm was intended, the survivor must
grapple with the realization that others can and will commit
malevolent acts. This awareness can result in many reactions.
It may provoke intense feelings, including denial, fierce
protection of survivors, or powerful rage toward those perceived
to be responsible. In addition, survivors may be more vulnerable
if they witnessed the death or were also threatened with death.
Finally, the death of a child poses unique problems for recovery.
People expect to die before their children and so it seems
profoundly wrong when a child dies first.
It may also take longer to deal with the loss if the survivor
(1) has previously experienced psychological problems, such
as major depression; (2) has experienced previous trauma or
traumatic loss, especially if it is similar in some way to
this loss; (3) has few friends or relatives who are supportive,
or (4) is simultaneously coping with other serious concerns,
such as dislocation, major health problems, psychosocial stresses,
or other losses.
As the initial shock of the death diminishes, there may be
intervals when the survivor is able to focus on other issues
and not feel the pain of the loss so intensely. Gradually,
these intervals will become longer, and there will be good
days and bad days. Over time, the proportion of good days
to bad days typically increases. However, people can experience
setbacks during the process. On a relatively good day, the
bereaved person may encounter a reminder of the loved one,
and this may cause the reemergence of painful feelings of
loss. People often have difficulty dealing with occasions
such as holidays, birthdays, the anniversary date of the death,
or other times of meaning.
What can survivors do to help themselves?
Because physical health may be affected by grief, it is important
for survivors to try to maintain adequate nutrition, sleep,
and exercise. It's especially important for individuals with
any chronic health problems, such as heart disease, if at
all possible to stay in contact with a physician to ensure
proper monitoring of their condition. Survivors are often
preoccupied by their grief and may be prone to other sorts
of mishaps, such as accidents, so extra caution is important.
Similarly, it may be more difficult if survivors must make
major decisions during the first several months after a loss,
since life changes may bring on additional stress.
Most experts recommend that survivors confide in someone
about the loss and find a support system. This can be a friend,
a clergy person, or another person who has experienced similar
loss. It may take some time to identify friends who can be
good listeners. Not everyone knows what to say or do to be
helpful. Some survivors withdraw from social contact because
of the possibility of hurtful comments. This is unfortunate,
because it can cut people off from interactions that could
be healing.
Grieving is a long and difficult process because it involves
slowly remembering what happened. Sometimes the memories may
seem like more than the survivor can bear. It can be helpful
for survivors to learn ways to calm themselves. These might
include such things as taking a walk, being with people, or
participating in a distracting activity. Some survivors find
it useful to write or to read.
When is it a good idea to seek professional help?
It is important for an individual to know they can ask for
help. If they continue to experience frequent or severe trauma
symptoms, as described above, for more than several months
after the death, and if these reactions interfere with other
parts of normal life, such as being able to care for one's
children or hold a job, asking for support from a professional
can be helpful. In addition, any of the following experiences
suggest that professional help may be needed:
- continuing to experience intense yearning for the deceased
that does not diminish over time
- struggling with substantial feelings of guilt or uncontrolled
rage
- becoming severely depressed and feeling hopeless about
the future
- harboring persistent suicidal thoughts
- abusing alcohol or other drugs or increasingly greater
tobacco use.
Treatment can help
No matter how long someone has been suffering from the impact
of a sudden traumatic loss, comforting and effective treatments
are available. It is important for survivors of sudden traumatic
loss to select a therapist who is experienced in treating
both trauma and bereavement. And it is important to feel comfortable
with language, cultural considerations, and style of expression
when choosing a psychotherapist.
A variety of individual psychotherapies and support groups
are available. Medication and psychotherapy may be effective
with symptoms of both depression and PTSD. In addition, temporary
medication may be useful for those who initially experience
intense anxiety or the inability to sleep at all.
A family doctor, clergy person, local mental health association,
state psychiatric, psychological, or social work association,
or health insurer may be helpful in providing a referral to
a counselor or therapist with experience in treating sudden
traumatic loss.
For more information about psychological trauma or the International
Society for Traumatic Stress Studies call 1-877-469-PTSD (7873).
© 2003 International Society For Traumatic Stress Studies.
All rights reserved.
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