Learning to handle behavioral outbursts and temper tantrums is as much of a part of parenting as feeding your infant or helping your child learn to ride a two-wheeler. Bouts of fussiness and behavior problems can happen anywhere from the grocery store to Thanksgiving at Grandma's house and they can be handled more easily if your child learns some early lessons about self-control.

 

What Is Self-Control?
Self-control is the ability to make choices about how one behaves and acts rather than relying on impulses. Instead of acting on instinct or immediate impulse, children - and parents - with self-control pause and evaluate a situation and the consequences that may result from their behavior.

 

For example, if you tell your child that she may not have ice cream until the afternoon, her first reaction might be to cry, plead, or even throw a temper tantrum in the hopes that you will give in to her request. In contrast, a child who has a better sense of self-control might be more likely to understand the consequences of such a tantrum - perhaps not getting any ice cream - and therefore wait until the afternoon.

 

By exercising self-control, your child can learn to make appropriate decisions and choose behaviors that will be more likely to have positive outcomes.

 

Why Is Self-Control Important?
"Self-control is critical for getting along with other people," says Deborah Miller, PhD, a pediatric psychologist. "It's thinking before acting, like looking before crossing the street. Self-control prevents impulsive behavior that may have dangerous or negative consequences."

 

Without self-control, a child will say and do things without thinking about the consequences. Not only can this put them in frustrating situations - which can make it even harder to use self-control - but it can also put them in dangerous ones (such as the choice to given in easily to peer pressure or to use drugs or drink alcohol). Teaching your child self-control will help her get along with her peers and family members, and it also will help keep her safe.

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