When Jennifer T.'s grandfather died unexpectedly, the 4-year-old bombarded her grief-stricken parents with questions: "What did they put Poppa into to bury him? Is he lying down or standing up in the ground? What's he wearing?" Jennifer's mother had expected questions,  but she was surprised by the child's need for literal explanations.

"I was shocked. I wasn't thinking along those lines. I was thinking totally emotional, spiritual, and she's getting into coffins and dirt," Jennifer's mother says. It's not that Jennifer wasn't going to miss Poppa. It's just that children deal with everything - even death - in concrete and simple terms.

Here are some tips for helping kids cope with death - and at the same time teaching them to cherish life.

Get a Handle on Your Own Feelings
Most parents wait until confronted with death to start thinking about how to help their children with the concept. That may not be the best time, especially if the parents are also dealing with a loss.

Better to take a few moments now and reflect on your beliefs about death and your own experiences with it. "Then you can explain to your kids what you felt when your pet cat Fluffy died or when your grandpa died. That will give them the feeling that death and loss are universal, which of course they are," says M. Nan Jobson, LCSW, a social worker in Jacksonville, Florida.