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Image 3Gay TeensSearch our site for the information you need.Check out our links to other great resourcesEmail us with your questions.Go to iwannaknow.org's Home page   Peer Pressure

What is peer pressure and how does it effect me?
Your "peers" are people of your age and social group-your friends, schoolmates and maybe co-workers and neighbors. "Pressure" means a push or force. So, put together, "peer pressure" means a push coming from the people you tend to hang out with.

Peer pressure is always tough to deal with, especially when it comes to sex. Some teenagers decide to have sexual relationships because their friends think sex is cool. Others feel pressured by the person they are dating. Still others find it easier to give in and have sex than to try to explain why not. Some teenagers get caught up in the romantic feelings and believe having sex is the best way they can prove or demonstrate their love.

Some things to think about before peer pressure makes the decision for you:
  • Not every person your age is having sex. Even if sometimes it feels like everyone is "doing it," it is important to realize that this is not true. People often talk about sex in a casual manner, but this doesn't mean they are actually having sex.

  • Hollywood doesn't show the full story. Sexual situations are everywhere in our culture. They are on television, in movies, and even in commercials and magazines. This is part of the reason why we enjoy these things so much. Just remember: characters in these movies, television shows, and advertisements are actors and actresses. They can't get unwanted pregnancies and STDs. You can.

  • There are lots of great reasons why people wait to have sex. You may be making plans to go to college or to start a job after you finish high school. Consider, would a baby in your life make it easier or tougher for you to do the things you've dreamed about? Wanting to avoid STDs is another reason that some people are very cautious about becoming sexually active.

Knowing how you feel about yourself is the first big step in handling peer pressure. It's OK to want to enjoy your teen years and all the fun times that can be had. It's OK to respect yourself and your personal beliefs enough to say, "No, I'm not ready to have sex."

Ways to Avoid Peer or Date Pressure:

  • Hang out with friends who also believe that it's OK to not be ready for sex yet.
  • Date several people and hang out with different groups of people.
  • Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.
  • Introduce your friends to your parents.
  • Invite your friends to your home.
  • Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
  • Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
  • Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure you.
  • Be ready to call your mom, dad or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave a date.
  • Never feel obligated to "pay someone back" with sex in return for an expensive date or gift.
  • Say "no" and mean "no" if that's how you feel.

Nothing But Trouble...

The effects of drugs and alcohol can make it hard to think clearly, let alone make the best possible decisions about sex. While you're under the influence of drugs and alcohol it is easy to make a decision you'll regret later. Even worse, there are some people who will use the effects of alcohol and other drugs to force you into having sex with them.

Errors in Judgment: Alcohol and drugs can cloud your mind, making you do things that you normally wouldn't do. Remember, it is possible to get an unwanted pregnancy or to get or transmit an STD from one act of unprotected sex. No matter how drunk you were the night before, you still have to pay the consequences the next morning.

Date Rape: Date rape and date rape drugs make drinking in situations that can lead to sex extremely dangerous, especially, but not only, for young women. If you fall asleep drunk or pass out at a party, it is possible that someone will take advantage of you during the night. There is a "date rape" drug, and it is known as GHB. GHB pills can be called "roofies" and they are usually mixed in a beverage. GHB makes it possible for a partner to have sex with you against your will.

REMEMBER: If you have been sexually hurt, it is NOT your fault. You should NOT feel guilty or ashamed. If you have been hurt, contact your local Rape Crisis Center, or talk to someone you trust like a friend or parent.

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