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Peer
Pressure
What
is peer pressure and how does it effect me?
Your "peers" are people of your age and social group-your
friends, schoolmates and maybe co-workers and neighbors. "Pressure"
means a push or force. So, put together, "peer pressure"
means a push coming from the people you tend to hang out with.
Peer pressure is always tough to deal with, especially when it comes
to sex. Some teenagers decide to have sexual relationships because
their friends think sex is cool. Others feel pressured by the person
they are dating. Still others find it easier to give in and have sex
than to try to explain why not. Some teenagers get caught up in the
romantic feelings and believe having sex is the best way they can
prove or demonstrate their love.
Some things to think about before peer pressure makes the decision
for you:
- Not every
person your age is having sex. Even if sometimes it feels like
everyone is "doing it," it is important to realize that
this is not true. People often talk about sex in a casual manner,
but this doesn't mean they are actually having sex.
- Hollywood
doesn't show the full story. Sexual situations are everywhere
in our culture. They are on television, in movies, and even in
commercials and magazines. This is part of the reason why we enjoy
these things so much. Just remember: characters in these movies,
television shows, and advertisements are actors and actresses.
They can't get unwanted pregnancies and STDs. You can.
- There are
lots of great reasons why people wait to have sex. You may be
making plans to go to college or to start a job after you finish
high school. Consider, would a baby in your life make it easier
or tougher for you to do the things you've dreamed about? Wanting
to avoid STDs is another reason that some people are very cautious
about becoming sexually active.
Knowing how
you feel about yourself is the first big step in handling peer pressure.
It's OK to want to enjoy your teen years and all the fun times that
can be had. It's OK to respect yourself and your personal beliefs
enough to say, "No, I'm not ready to have sex."
Ways to Avoid Peer or Date Pressure:
- Hang out
with friends who also believe that it's OK to not be ready for
sex yet.
- Date several
people and hang out with different groups of people.
- Go out with
a group of friends rather than only your date.
- Introduce
your friends to your parents.
- Invite your
friends to your home.
- Always carry
money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
- Stick up
for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
- Think of
what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure
you.
- Be ready
to call your mom, dad or a friend to pick you up if you need to
leave a date.
- Never feel
obligated to "pay someone back" with sex in return for
an expensive date or gift.
- Say "no"
and mean "no" if that's how you feel.
Nothing But
Trouble...
The effects of drugs and alcohol can make it hard to think clearly,
let alone make the best possible decisions about sex. While you're
under the influence of drugs and alcohol it is easy to make a decision
you'll regret later. Even worse, there are some people who will
use the effects of alcohol and other drugs to force you into having
sex with them.
Errors in Judgment: Alcohol and drugs can cloud your mind, making
you do things that you normally wouldn't do. Remember, it is possible
to get an unwanted pregnancy or to get or transmit an STD from one
act of unprotected sex. No matter how drunk you were the night before,
you still have to pay the consequences the next morning.
Date Rape: Date rape and date rape drugs make drinking in situations
that can lead to sex extremely dangerous, especially, but not only,
for young women. If you fall asleep drunk or pass out at a party,
it is possible that someone will take advantage of you during the
night. There is a "date rape" drug, and it is known as
GHB. GHB pills can be called "roofies" and they are usually
mixed in a beverage. GHB makes it possible for a partner to have
sex with you against your will.
REMEMBER: If you have been sexually hurt, it is NOT your fault.
You should NOT feel guilty or ashamed. If you have been hurt, contact
your local Rape Crisis Center, or talk to someone you trust like
a friend or parent.
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