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By watching the role-playing that goes on during your child's make-believe games, you'll see that he's beginning to identify with his own sex. So while playing house, boys will naturally adopt the father's role and girls the mother's, reflecting whatever differences they've noticed in their own families and in the world around them. At this age, your son may be fascinated by his father, older brothers or other boys in the neighborhood, while your daughter will be drawn to her mother, older sisters and other girls.

Children this age will often take this identification process to an extreme. Girls will insist on wearing dresses, nail polish and makeup to school or to the playground. Boys will strut, be overly assertive and carry pretend guns wherever they go. This behavior reinforces their sense of being male or female.

Factors Affecting Gender-Related Differences

Research shows that a few of the developmental and behavioral differences that typically distinguish boys from girls are biologically determined. For instance, the average preschool boy tends to be more aggressive, while girls generally are more verbal. However, most gender-related characteristics at this age are more likely to be shaped by cultural and family influences. Even if both parents work and share family responsibilities equally, your child will still find conventional male and female role models in television, magazines, books, billboards, and the families of friends and neighbors. Your daughter, for example, may be encouraged to play with dolls by advertisements, gifts from well-meaning relatives, and the approving comments of adults and other children. Boys, meanwhile, are generally guided away from dolls (although most enjoy them during the toddler years) in favor of more rough-and-tumble games and sports. The girl who likes to roughhouse is called a tomboy, but the boy who plays that way is called tough or assertive. Not surprisingly, children sense the approval and disapproval in these labels and adjust their behavior accordingly. Thus, by the time they enter kindergarten, children's gender identities are well established.

Experimenting with Behaviors

As your child develops his gender identity during these early years, he's bound to experiment with attitudes and behaviors of both sexes. There's rarely any reason to discourage such impulses, except when the child is resisting or rejecting strongly established cultural standards. For instance, if your son wanted to wear dresses every day, you should gently persuade him to take a more conventional course. If he persists, however, discuss the issue with your pediatrician.

Your child may imitate certain types of behavior that adults consider sexual, such as flirting. If he's very dramatic and expressive, you may be put off by these "suggestive" looks and Movements, but the suggestions are all in your head, not his. At this age, he has no mature sexual intentions, and his mannerisms are merely playful mimicry, so don't worry. If, however, his imitation of sexual behavior is very explicit or otherwise indicates that he may have been personally exposed to sexual acts, you should discuss this with your pediatrician, as it could be a sign of sexual abuse.