In an article in the March 3, 1999, issue of The Journal of the American Medical Association, researchers found that mothers of very low-birth-weight babies had higher levels of stress than mothers of babies with average birth weight. They also found that mothers who had very low-birth-weight babies with medical complications had an even higher level of stress and that they continued to have higher levels of stress even two years after the birth of their child.

To effectively manage the stress of being a parent and the caregiver of a sick child, it is important to recognize the accumulation of stress from each role.

Signs of Too Much Stress:

• Feeling tired and irritable most of the time
• Feelings of being down or low that last more than a few days
• More than usual difficulty concentrating and making decisions
• Difficulty enjoying regular activities that used to give pleasure
• Feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness or guilt
• Loss of appetite
• Sleeping problems
• Loss of sexual desire

What to do About Stress:

• Take a breather (deep breathing can quickly and effectively relieve stress)

• Take a break (even a short break of five minutes can provide stress-relieving benefits)

• Make time for yourself (provide regularly scheduled breaks by having a reliable and trusted person help with parenting duties or enroll your child in a certified daycare program)

• Make time for exercise and regular daily activities

• For severe stress, seek the help of a physician or other health care professional

• Share household responsibilities and chores with other members of the household (spouse, partner, even older children when appropriate).

• Set realistic rules for children and stick by them.

• Try to maintain a fairly regular schedule for children, including set meal times and bed times.

• Have realistic expectations of your children's behavior and respect their individuality.

• Don't sweat the small stuff. Many little problems and mistakes that children make are not worth getting upset over - just let them go.

• See your physician if you are having serious difficulty dealing with stress
• Create a network of caring friends
• Contact local mental health services
• Contact your local religious organization to ask about counseling services
• Contact local family services agencies

• American Academy of Pediatrics
  (Send a SASE to:)
  Child Care: What's Best for Your Family?
  Attn: Publications Department HE0028
  141 Northwest Point Blvd.
  Elk Grove Village, IL 60007-1098
  http://www.aap.org

• National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies
  Child Care Aware
  (800) 424-2246

• Parents Anonymous
  (909) 621-6184
  http://www.parentsanonymous.org

Brian Pace, M.A., Writer
Richard M. Glass, M.D., Editor
Jeff Molter, Director of Science News

(JAMA. 1999; 281:866)

Published in JAMA: March 13, 1999