Near-squashing teaches value of asking for help
Commentary by Erin Zagursky
435th Air Base Wing Public Affairs
11/2/2004 - RAMSTEIN AIR BASE, Germany (AFPN) -- With all my might, I shoved the giant mattress onto my box springs. I held my breath when I saw that the momentum wasn’t enough and the monster was falling back toward me. As I was slowly being squashed by the mattress, I wondered why, oh why, hadn’t I asked anyone for help?
My neighbors are nice, and I knew they wouldn’t think twice about lending me a hand. I also have a lot of great co-workers who probably wouldn’t have minded helping. But when I had thought of asking for assistance earlier that day, something inside of me said, “Do it yourself.”
Now, as my socks slipped on the wooden floor and my squashing-by-mattress seemed imminent, I remembered the exact moment that little “do-it-yourself” voice came into being inside of me.
I was 16 and working at a local amusement park, selling drinks in plastic fruit-shaped containers. It was the end of the day, and I waited at the bottom of a hill for my supervisor to help me push my drink cart up the incline.
I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally I decided that I would find a way to do it myself. I took armloads of plastic fruits to the top of the hill until the cart was light enough for me to push on my own.
Since that day, I’ve been convinced there’s always a way to do things on my own. In fact, I’ve been quite proud of my “can-do” attitude. After all, isn’t self-sufficiency a desirable trait? A sign of maturity? An adjective to use in job interviews?
But it’s amazing how different the world looks from the underside of a mattress. Maybe all my do-it-yourselfness over the years was more stubbornness and pride than self-sufficiency.
I still think that self-sufficiency is a sign of maturity, but I now also think that knowing when to ask for help is one, too. I don’t just mean moving-furniture help. Everyone’s been stuck under some kind of mattress at one time or another. Maybe you’re depressed, sick, or lonely, but you think you can handle your problems on your own.
The Air Force has resources for any kind of problems you might be facing, everything from debt and marriage counseling to the chaplains who will give you a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking that you honestly don’t need any kind of help. Then take a look around and find where you can give it, whether it’s volunteer work or just noticing a co-worker in need and lending a hand.
For those of you in leadership positions, don’t be like my amusement park supervisor and leave your people waiting around for you until they decide they’ll never ask for your help again.
Thankfully I was not completely squashed by my mattress that night, although my back still aches at the memory. I learned a valuable lesson as a near mattress sandwich.
Now, anyone want to help me change my oil? |
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